Smooth (and sweet) like butter!

Isaiah 26: 3- You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast because he trust in you.


Last night I was officially initiated in as a student midwife by a sweet,7lb. 4 oz, "starter"!
To be honest I wasn’t really expecting things to be much different from the many other births under my belt.... Don’t get me wrong... One of the reasons I love this job is that it is always different.  No two births are the same but yet certain aspects are.  Kind of like we all have the same basic facial features; 2 eyes, 1 nose, etc., More or less, the same....But yet, its within the details of color and  expression lies the vast differences of each individual.  So it is with births.  But....this being my first as a student midwife, the "colors" and "expressions" were heightened. 

 As a regular birth attendant, I have moved from task to task, admittedly, sometimes on auto pilot.  As a student, last night,  I found myself  more intentional and aware, much like when I began learning 18 years ago.  I remember Dr. S. chuckling to himself after a birth as I had my head down "there" with his, examining a mommy's "fresh privates" (as a client's child once commented).  "Only you!" he said, as he laughingly and patiently, gave me "the tour".....God bless him!  He probably realized that he had better invite me or I might just scoot him out of the way!

(Don't gross out on me!  After all, the title of this blog does have the word midwife in it!)

So now you ask, "What's the reference to butter about?"  Well, here it is....When a baby comes quickly, smoothly and with not a "hiccup", its playfully described as a "Butter Birth"....Smooth like butter...On my way to every birth, (after I call my prayer warrior friend, Gelynne) I find myself, entering into a time of audible prayer..It kind of goes like this..."Okay, Lord...This is yours....Your baby, your mama..Your timing...You already have this done...Give me Your wisdom, Your patience, Your protection as You use me." I imagine Jesus riding along in the passenger seat with me, as I believe He is, nodding His head, "navigating"...

Just me and the Lord, dark car, on the road....

Sometimes, He gives me a prayer I was totally not expecting and it isn’t until after the birth that I see why.  And at those births, I ask him to show me the smooth parts and He does.  Because if you've ever made real butter before, you know that  it starts out with fresh, full fat, cream.  Its poured into a jar, creamy and white, the sweet milky smell bathing your nose.  Then you get to shaking.  Sometimes the butter comes easily..At first, tiny fat granules swish on the glass, and before you know it you can hear the soft, thick, thump sound indicating the separation from the buttermilk....

But other times you shake and shake and still nothing...Muscles weak and burning, you review all the ingredients and steps in your mind, questioning  whether you have done it right...Did you miss something?    But, knowing butter is formed in the constant, persistent shaking, you just keep going...

Shake, shake....Hummm...This isn’t happening the way its suppose to.  Lord?
Trust in my process..
Shake, shake, shake....Did I miss something?  Am I doing enough?  Lord?
Trust that I am working...
Shake, shake, shake....shake... Are you here, Lord?  I don’t see you!  
Trust that I am in control...Trust in ME!
 Shake shake...... thump.

Just when I start to question it all completely,  the many, perfect, little, individual granules form together into one perfect ball of sweetness that was really there all along..

So to each birth I go to, I don’t know....Will this be a long, hard birth with complications that stretch my knowledge and insecurities? Will all I know be shaken to a degree that I can’t handle?    And am I suppose to be fearful of the shaking, knowing it is what produces and refines the pureness of my trust in Him?

No.   Because His hand is in the constant, changing, making and shaking..... and in these times I am to grow, and trust...in His process.  Trust  in the fact that He is always working.  Trust that He is always in control...

And trust that sometimes He just spreads some....butter...